February 21, 2011 § 2 Comments
I was getting out of my car in the parking garage. Nothing new, grabbed my bag, stepped out of the car. Hair still wet from the shower. There was a chilly breeze, Spring in the air. The construction across the street was in full force and loud. Not wearing anything special, in fact perhaps I should have paid a bit more attention as I have a meeting this afternoon. And I’m going into WORK. On a MONDAY.
As I walked across the dirty deck toward the elevator, to the building where I’ll sit inside all day, not seeing the sun or feeling the warming temperature, I was surprisingly content. Not in spite of the circumstances… My mind hadn’t yet begun it’s race through the days to-do list, or wishing that I could stay outside. A rarity, I was actually present in this moment. I named the feeling – I am CONTENT (taking a deep breath of the chilly air) – and it grew – until I felt glowing happy. And even… to place a name on this unfamiliar feeling, what was it? Beautiful. I felt beautiful.
If I could even have identified this feeling for what it was in the past, I would have shrunken from it. I might have even felt a bit ashamed. Who am I to feel BEAUTIFUL? Here I am, without another soul in view, feeling a glow that is coming not from present company, not from external circumstances, not from my face or my dress or my body, but from my own dear self. And you know what else? I enjoyed it. Hell, I reveled in it, even as I felt a bit shocked at my audacity. I wish I could say that this is a permanent perspective shift and that I won’t feel differently as soon as my eyes meet a mirror… But right now I don’t really care. I’m carrying this beautiful-feeling with me for as long as I can.
Wishing you a glowingly BEAUTIFUL day.