More Autumn Stuff & Random Thoughts
October 28, 2010 § 2 Comments
I am having an incredibly hard time focusing this last week or so. Ever since I mentioned the Autumn Manifesto all I want to do is some Fall scheming. Some Random Associated (or not) Thoughts.
-I have this feeling (common for me in the Fall, but maybe more intense this year) of coming craziness, upheaval, whirlwindishness… like an impending Carolina thunderstorm. With excitement as much as a will-that-tree-come-down-on-the-house feeling. Maybe we’ll be exactly where we are now next year. I feel like I have said this before (maybe even more than once), and yes, here we still are. Maybe it’s only the internal landscape that’s shifting (which makes everything look different, even if it doesn’t actually LOOK different, if you know what I mean).
-Bought some books for a paper for my yoga teacher training (Krishnamurti. Ooof.) And on the way I nearly bought at least 5 others. I am struck by a desire to hole up for days, devouring piles of fascinating books that I don’t understand.
-I’m considering selling my spinning wheel. And my camera. And my bike. All of which I love, but not emotionally. Without a doubt I will use them again someday, but ‘someday’ seems like a silly reason to keep them around – especially if they inspire guilt – which my wheel especially does, and my camera is beginning to do. They could be in use and making someone happy instead of gathering dust here. It’s not as though these are family heirlooms; I can get another when I have more time for these pursuits (and would likely be more thoughtful about the purchase too). They may go in order of their last use. Bike first, then spinning wheel. Then camera. At this moment, the camera’s the only one that really gives me pause. I even attempted to take a picture for this post… I’ll write about how well that went later 😉 Maybe I am just in a mood.
–Mumford and Sons are not remotely conducive to getting work done. Cooking, yes; knitting, yes; reading/working/studying? No. (And how fun to have not one, but TWO good friends listening to them in the same week & sharing the good word?)
-I just (finally) cast on a pair of sleeves for a long desired knit. The body of this unseen WIP (which may become my most favorite sweater ever) was finished just before beginning teacher training in September. But I haven’t been able to break away from everything else to just. cast. on. sleeves. already. The knitting will take a fraction of the thinking-about-casting-on time. And the casting on itself? @20 mins complete w/ checking stitch counts, switching needle tips, etc. Procrastination is such a strange and funny thing.
-Reviewed my 43Things and began striking things off the list – namely anything driven by guilt or purely based on accomplishment & recognition. It is very interesting to watch this process change for me over time – what I remove, what I see as important enough to keep or add and also how I phrase it. Everything that remains is something that furthers the bigger goals on the list, or something I really WANT to do/learn, or is value based. I like that.
-Dreams and goals are awesome (when they are not based on guilt or perceived shortcomings!) But my goals don’t talk about all the existing awesomeness. If I’m going to review goals, I want to review all that too. I want to recognize that we sing & boogie while making dinner. And make ridiculous and inappropriate jokes while listening to NPR. That I write and move and spend time in silence every day. Doggy kisses, music that’s filling my heart, small kindnesses. It’s finally a daily habit to write about these things – inspired by Katrin’s Penguin’s, Sarah’s Very Good Things, and Rachel’s Joy Project among others. It feels like focussing on these little & big happy things should really be a part of the whole goal/dreaming process too though. Maybe even the very first step.
What are you feeling grateful for these days?