More on (Becoming)
January 21, 2011 § 1 Comment
I haven’t changed THAT much.
I’ve not gone off the deep end (well, I did kind of jump in the water didn’t I? But you knew that!)
I am (becoming) calmer, more self-assured, stronger physically, more focused mentally, and not as easily tempted by things that make me feel awful post-indulgence (i.e. SUGAR. The Spring Insanity and Christmas Candy Meltdown of 2010 were enough to finally convince me of this.)
My clothes don’t fit (and NO, I am not on a diet).
I am making some changes in what I eat however.
I’m feeling healthier physically than I have in a long time. I’ll clarify that I AM very healthy and didn’t feel yucky before – just a tendency to get run down easily, some sinus issues, headaches, minor stuff. Feeling great.
It is difficult to rattle me at work now, and that seems to rattle some of my coworkers.
I am still a bit sensitive and prone to verbal run-on or complete silence when nervous, but am trending toward the latter which I much prefer.
I am less embarrassed (read: MORTIFIED) by tears when they happen (for any reason, good, bad, just plain emotional). Although I would still prefer not to cry in public.
I have a tendency to take things to extremes, but am getting more and more interested and aware of the concept of moderation – and in some cases, am finally getting slightly better at practicing it. This goes back to my sugar example, but also, alcohol, projects, yoga practice, knitting etc… I know that too much sugar is a bad idea, but a small amount in my coffee/ONE piece of candy/the occasional dessert does not induce the crazy. This basic mentality is in line with my quest for a more open mind and heart. Extremes can induce judgment. You don’t do yoga?! What, are you crazy??! Don’t you know you’re doomed to a very unfortunate rebirth?
As much as I sometimes surprise myself with how far I’ve come, I also feel so new to some of this and sometimes that’s hard. But mostly it’s just good.