February 19, 2011 § 4 Comments
Getting ready to open this blog publicly last week, I was reading an article from one of my favorite thoughtful sources and was stopped dead in my tracks:
“Well before blogging about yoga became the Justin Bieber of every thirty year old’s crisis of meaning…”
Ouch. The article was a wonderful tribute, but, not knowing the person or having any emotional involvement in the topic, it faded completely as my mind keyed right in on these all-important words…. Is THAT what this is? A crisis? I don’t even know anything about this Bieber dude, and I’ll have you know I’m well past 30 (cough. 35. And a half.)
This article had nothing whatsoever to do with me nor did it even really relate to my own experience, but it left me feeling embarrassed and deflated (Since I am practicing here, let me be clear, the article is good. *I* felt deflated as my ego tossed out everything else and focussed on the realization that apparently I am a cliche. Brilliant.) After spending so much time thinking & writing about loaded words and my own judgments, I do see the irony in this. And the humor, thankfully. My pulled together 25 year-old self is crying right now. And plotting how to avoid this unfortunate fate. Hell, if I’d just gotten it over with then who knows where I’d be now.
I have to accept, that yes, this is me, 30-something, on a current upswing (can I hope that it’s the way up & out?) of my own huge “crisis of meaning”. So the question is, is there room for one more cynical/hopeful/searching voice in the mix, or is this really just a bunch of self absorbed unoriginal bullshit? That was a rhetorical question. Please do not answer.
I do find it somehow strangely comforting that I am apparently just one of an enormous group of 30-somethings who are collectively (and publicly) freaking out. It’s just more reassurance that I am not alone. When we all get to the other side of our meltdowns, may we all be happier & making the world a nicer place…
So tell me, since I have just confessed one of my greatest fears… Any uncomfortable truths you’ve been faced with lately?