May 20, 2011 § 4 Comments

Resistance>Clarity>Hesitation>Fear>Resistance>Clarity> Mooooovement (Ahhhh! Yes!)

I have been flying in circles for the past two weeks. Someone who has completed a yoga training program or a similarly challenging period of personal work, I would love some reassurance that this is normal (is it?). After 9 months of the program and over a solid year of personal excavation, I’ve felt untethered, a little lost. But I’m breaking on through in bits and pieces… This is just a wobble as I steady myself to take off spinning. My practice has regained it’s footing even if the structure is looser at the moment.

And I want to talk more about practice. Lots more. In specifics and generalities and the stuff in between. Here’s a start:

This morning, I awoke to my husband’s alarm which rings a full hour AFTER my morning practice wake-up call. This oops was set in motion early yesterday by skipping the reset of my own alarm – and was ensured by dropping my head on the pillow last night before completing the nightly fail-safe check (Discipline supports you when you aren’t on your game – but only if you follow through). Well, crap. He hit snooze and I laid there for another minute or three before rolling over and heading straight into the next room (Sleep in what you can practice in). Center-Sankalpa-Uttanasana-Sirsasana-Balansana. 10 minutes of sitting. 15 minutes total. (Breathe. Do what you have time for. Don’t skip savasana). I negged on my shower in favor of practice (Make choices – consciously! And keep a freshen-up kit in your desk drawer at work – just in case).

Imperfect maybe…But the intent and effort were true. And without these, practice won’t happen. And without practice, well.

Today was a good day. I was a better me. Spinning. Smiling.

What does your practice look like – on a good day, a rough day, yoga or otherwise?

§ 4 Responses to Loop-de-Loop

  • Elizabeth says:

    On a rough day, it means that I might put down my book for a few deep breaths and maybe a round or two of lovingkindness meditation at the end of the day while sitting on my bed even though that feels like cheating and like it’s not even worth doing. Which of course it is.

    • Mel says:

      If you can send out lovingkindness on a rough day, I think that’s pretty wonderful! This has been the turning point for me – being flexible and kind to myself – getting past that feeling of the small effort not being good enough (even though I still feel that way sometimes!) It frees me up to actually make the effort instead of wallowing in the fact of what I “should” be doing. Thank you Elizabeth.

  • Heather says:

    I like your bolded statements as reminders. I will definitely use these if (when?) I establish a practice. Feeling the need for it more and more these days.

    • Mel says:

      If (when) you return, you would be most welcome at my monthly home practice workshop 😉 I hope you are well – and – you are missed.

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