THIS is why I do this.

June 15, 2011 § 6 Comments

I love the humbling moments in my physical practice. They always serve as a potent reminder of why I do this at all.

I touch a pose I’ve been working on for a solid year – of my own accord without assist(!) – and my human mind that has been working so patiently, steadfastly, suddenly reaches out for the future…. A week, two weeks, it will be mine. But then I remember as I come back again. Nope, not how it works.

Two weeks later I am still only catching glimpses here and there. Two weeks later I am ever-so-slightly stronger, the tiniest bit more in control (and in awe) of strange and deep parts of my body I’d never spoken with (Hello ankles. Pleased to make your acquaintance). Two weeks later, I remember (again) that this is how it works. The only sure thing is that when (or if) I can ever “do” this one thing, it will change. It will be different each time. I will still be learning, growing, refining (always). I will still fall (and lick my wounds, and get back up). THIS is how LIFE works. THIS is why I do this.

My body is my teacher. Through this skin & muscle & bones, this heartbeat and lungs, I learn to be present in the beautiful moments all along the way. I learn to set my aim and work diligently, but I also learn patience, I learn to revel in the joy of the experience – in the pose – on the way there – or the loss of gravity on the way down. I learn to love (this moment, my fear, my SELF), I learn to let go and I learn to LIVE. This, is why I do this.

§ 6 Responses to THIS is why I do this.

  • Sarah says:

    I love your entries.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Ok. It is time to go back to the mat. For this. You write so beautifully about it.

    • Mel says:

      I keep thinking that at some point, I will just *know* and I will not need to keep re-learning this. 😉 Silly me.

      Thank you Elizabeth.

  • Kat says:

    This is such a beautiful post, and such an amazing reminder why what we do is called practice. I’ve been having a lot of those moments lately where I catch a glimpse of my body transforming: “Oh, my hamstrings are finding more stretch here as I fold into parsvottanasana!” “Oh, THAT’s what it feels like to engage uddiyana bandha.” And I get excited and want to push more, and then I remember that it will all come with time.

    Thank you for sharing this.

    • Mel says:

      Thank you Kat. Yep. I feel like this a lot. I was never an athlete, never really in touch with my body – so when I find new space or connections to new areas I couldn’t sense before, it’s really exciting. I wonder what new things I will discover, what else is there?! But yes, all in time 🙂 (and oh, the hamstrings, they are one of my most humbling parts!!)

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