Making Friends (or, Obsessive Habits)

June 17, 2011 § 6 Comments

Do you ever go back and re-read the stuff you’ve written? Your journal, blog posts, twitter stream etc? I realize that this is a fundamental form of attachment (and I am working on that). But. This is what I experience, and why I do it occasionally.

I lied just now. Twice. Rephrasing: This is what I experience on occasion, when I read back through. Which I do, more frequently than I can admit without further embarrassing myself.

When I re-read my stuff, if it has been long enough, it stops being a critique and it begins to make me feel something. I don’t remember writing those words anymore, but I remember the feeling, and it resonates with me as though it were written by someone else. And I feel compassion for this soul-sister. I giggle at her jokes. I cringe when she messes up (because oh MAN, have I been there). And I can almost tell what she is thinking/feeling in the space that she leaves (I swear I know, I have felt this way too.) And I would befriend this person. She would ‘get’ me. I know she would cheer me on for everything I’ve learned (and forgive me for everything I have to re-learn repeatedly and all that’s still beyond me).

And then I realize what that really means. And I think….. That’s a huge gift.

I’m prepared for this to sound a little… odd… and probably obsessive. Whatever. I highly recommend it. Go read some of your old stuff and see if you don’t find a kindred spirit. And then come back and share please, I’d like to meet them too.

§ 6 Responses to Making Friends (or, Obsessive Habits)

  • SisuGirl says:

    I’ve got myself on Google Reader and wait until there are 10 posts before I go back and re-read…sometimes that takes longer than I would like to reach ten unread posts…but I too really like the person who wrote those posts. She seems so insightful and worldly smart and I catch myself wishing that I could be like her because she is so secure and calm and confident with her life. Its the same feeling that I get when I read your posts, especially ones like this which seem to have come straight from my head too 🙂

    • Mel says:

      Hey my friend! I like how you give it some time – the 10 posts seems like a good (and less obsessive!) guideline ;). I’m so glad to hear that you like the person in those posts (she IS very wise, isn’t she?!). This has been a surprising and awesome way to feel affection and support for myself, I’m happy that it made sense to someone else!

  • […] met and even from across the country. That must be the case. Otherwise, how is is possible that Mel could write a post like this that I have been pondering over? Read my comment on the end too and once you have done so you will […]

  • Elizabeth says:

    Huh. I will try this. I usually read my posts in the morning to make sure that they posted fine, but I am not really doing it from an objective point of view. Curious now.

  • Elizabeth says:

    Oh, wait! I was reading my first blog a while ago. I was laughing away and remembering that I really am funny and wondering why I forget that I’m funny and that I like reading my own posts..

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